• Our hope-filled future is bound up in sharing the story of Jesus, in discipling others, in bringing those disciples together into communities of believers, and in developing and releasing those believers to create other communities... till Jesus the King comes again!

Ask who? (again)

Posted on March 31, 2017 by wtdavid

Ad made a comment on my blog post yesterday.  Here’s what he wrote: “”Go directly to the people you have the hardest time with. Ask them what you’re doing that’s exacerbating the situation. They will surely tell you.”  Mmmh, what about if the people are from a culture with indirect communication?  Would not a mediator be better to ask that question?”

Ad hit the proverbial ‘nail on the head’.  It’s why listening is so important, and why it is a skill that most of us need to be working on continually.  Not only will listening well help us benefit from the feedback we receive, it will teach us to look for the best context in which to ask and receive that feedback.

I think that is why the writers of Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well, stated earlier in yesterday’s quote: “… then there’s something going on that you’re not “getting,” and without her help, you’re not going to get it.  It may be a cultural difference that you need to understand if you’re going to be effective in her market.”

Not only do we need to be aware of cultural cues that we may be missing in our conversations, but we also need to understand how to ask for feedback in a culturally appropriate way.  If you are from an indirect culture, asking for feedback or receiving feedback will look quite different from those who are from direct cultures.

However, what remains constant is how we will choose to respond to that feethanksForFeedbackdback. 

It’s funny.  I can read the title of this book in two ways.  I could read it, “thanks for the feedback” and in my mind say it with a very begrudging tone.  Or, I could read it, “thanks for the feedback” and in my mind say it with an honest and grateful tone; thinking what I will “mine” from this feedback that will help me grow.

When you hear feedback, with what tone are you most often saying in your mind: “Thanks for the feedback”?

Filed under: Crossing cultures, Feedback, Lifelong learning, Listening | 3 Comments »

Listening to feedback isn’t fun

Posted on March 29, 2017 by wtdavid

‘Feedback’ is a word that has recently come into the French vocabulary.  It’s been in the English vocabulary for quite a while, but can have a number of different meanings.  We could say, in its simplest expression, feedback “includes any information you get about yourself.”

Giving-FeedbackHonestly though, we’re not really keen on feedback.  We’re not really keen on it because it touches who we are, what we do, or in other words, our identity.

With that in mind, most of us, when we give feedback, tend to gloss over the true growth needs of others.  We don’t want to ‘do wrong’ to the other by pointing out areas where he/she needs further development.  Most of us, when we receive feedback, tend to dismiss (read ‘argue about’) what was shared with us.  “It’s just wrong,” might be a phrase that comes to our minds after receiving some feedback.  When we are on the receiving end, listening to feedback isn’t a lot of fun, or at least that is how we perceive it.

I just started reading the book: Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well.  Two things stood out to me in the early pages of the book.

First, every piece of feedback has some good in it.  We may not like what is said or how it is said, but there are nuggets of wisdom and insight embedded in that feedback that could help us to grow in our character and competency.  A friend used to say: “In every criticism, there is an element of truth, otherwise it wouldn’t hurt so much.”  Our goal in receiving feedback is to sift through what we hear in order to learn how we might grow more.

Second, we need to distinguish between several different kinds of feedback.  The author of Thanks for the Feedback writes: “Broadly, feedback comes in three forms: appreciation (thanks), coaching (here’s a better way to do it), and evaluation (here’s where you stand).”  As a receiver of feedback, one of the first tasks must be to assess what kind of feedback we are talking about.  Our struggle with feedback can often be the result of misunderstanding the kind of feedback being offered.  Or it can be the result of a mix-up between the feedback you are looking for (such as appreciation) and the feedback you are receiving (such as coaching).

Listening to feedback may not be what we long to hear.  However, with a learning posture, we will not only benefit from feedback, we will develop a strategy to work on those needed growth areas of character and competency.

Filed under: Feedback, Lifelong learning, Listening, Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

CP 201

Posted on January 12, 2017 by wtdavid

For the past year or so, I have been working through sets of notes from my seminary studies. Little by little, I’ve been storing my ‘hand written’ notes (that dates me!) by typing them up.  It’s been fun trying to decipher what I actually wrote at some points.  However, the greatest benefit has been the opportunity to review ideas and insights that I learned during tholearningse days and seeing their enduring importance to life and ministry.

A good number of us have some years of experience in the ‘work’ of church planting (CP) that God has called us.  It’s been a good while since our ‘learning’ or on the ground education time.  So, perhaps a ‘review’ of what we learned would serve to ‘fan the flame’ again of our passion for CP.  Such a review could serve as a good and needed reminder of those critical ideas and insights that are vital to life and ministry.

Over the next number of posts, I would like to review some ‘notes’ with you.  Let’s just say that we will be typing our notes together from CP 201.  Now as we pull that file (CP 201) from our filing cabinet, and look again at the syllabus of that advanced CP ‘course’, what would we discover was the overall objective?

‘Remembering’ is a biblical principle we find throughout the Scriptures.  “O LORD, I remember Your name in the night, And keep Your law.” (Psalm 119:55)  It will be fun to explore what we can learn together as we ‘remember’ what He has taught us.

Filed under: Church planting, Lifelong learning, Reflection | 2 Comments »

A community of shared hearts

Posted on April 22, 2016 by wtdavid

A colleague of mine sent this quote to me yesterday. It’s taken from the book, Connecting:

“The crisis of care in modern culture, especially in the Western church, will not be resolved by training more therapists….It will be worsened by moralists who never reach deeply into the hearts of people in their efforts to impose their standards of behavior on others, even when those standards are biblical.   The greatest need in modern civilization is the development of communities – true communities where the heart of God is home, where the humble and wise learn to shepherd those on the path behind them, where trusting strugglers lock arms with others as together they journey on.”

The daily care we need for our souls, for our hearts will be found in community. However, servletthat is where the rub comes in.

Most of us assume that community will be found in our ministry team, and it just may be. However, teams are built to accomplish ministry tasks and are not by nature communities; that is, places where we can share our hearts with others and be shaped by the engagement of others with us.

Most of us assume that community is easily established, and it just could be the case. However, community often requires time spent together, trust, and an atmosphere that is framed by God’s Word. It doesn’t have to be a Bible study, but what happens in our community time together must flow out of God’s principles and God’s ‘one another’ commands.

Most of assume, in our hearts, that we really don’t need community. Warning signs should immediately come up on our life’s dashboard.  Community is essential to growth in the Christian life. As ‘iron sharpens iron’, so we participate in the long-term spiritual growth of one another when we enter into community with a small group of other believers.

Community is about shared hearts; opening up to others so that they may walk with us in our journey; a journey where “trusting strugglers lock arms with others as together they journey on.”

Filed under: Accountability, Community, Lifelong learning | 5 Comments »

Is accountability biblical?

Posted on March 31, 2016 by wtdavid

I remember Ray (WT Africa) asking that question during a gathering of workers. The ‘right’ answer was probably on everyone’s lips.  However, it is a whole lot harder to own that answer than to just answer ‘yes’ to such a question

What can we learn about accountability from several biblical texts?accountable

For one, we learn that it involves an act of the will: “Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed” (James 5:16). Accountability flows out of a commitment to open one’s life to another; to give another the right to ask one hard questions.

For another, we learn that it involves the giving of an account, the giving of a progress status on our inner life and work: “Now after a long time the master of those servants came and settled accounts with them” (Matthew 25:19) As in the parable, we know that one day God will ask for an accounting of our lives (Matthew 12:36-37) and that He encourages us to practice that accountability with one another in our lives now (Galatians 6:1-2).

Finally, we learn that it is for our good: “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another” (Proverbs27:17) Accountability is not a ‘bad’ word.  Accountability causes us to grow in our Christian walk as others come alongside us and speak into our lives.

So where is the problem? Where is the blockage that keeps many of us from owning accountability as well as believing that it is essential to our Christian walk?

It could be that some of us feel we are above accountability.  In other words, we believe that accountability is important, but it is something to which we need only to call others.  We believe, somehow, we no longer need accountability, because of our years of ministry experience.

It could be that covenant accountability is just plain hard. Being accountable to someone in a work (business) context appears easier as our very job and salary depend on it. However, covenant accountability requires an act of the will to open ourselves to others; something many of us don’t like to do.

It could be that many of us don’t realize the benefits that come from being accountable to another. For most of our life, accountability has been the major element towards growth. As we recognize that truth, we will develop a healthier attitude and respect for accountability.

Accountability is biblical … and really is for our good.

Filed under: Accountability, Lifelong learning | 4 Comments »

What got you here …

Posted on January 11, 2016 by wtdavid

Several years ago, Marshall Goldsmith wrote a book that was a New York Times bestseller.  The title was simply: What Got You Here Won’t Get You There.  The thrust of Goldsmith’s argument was that when people move from one level of responsibility to another, they need to learn a new set of skills. Most people, however, falter under new responsibilities because they try to ‘super-size’  the skills and talents from their previous level or role at the next level. Any new level calls for different abilities and aptitudes, most of which will need to be added to one’s toolkit.what got you here

Flux and change are part of a cross cultural worker’s normal life.  Teammates arrive; teammates move on to another ministry. One role and responsibility gives way to another in the task of discipling and building communities.  Our job descriptions are best described as fluid.

This is why we need to consider the application of Goldsmith’s advice to our lives and ministries; advice which is no different than the apostle Paul when he wrote: “as you received from us how you ought to walk and to please God, just as you are doing, that you do so more and more.”  (1 Thessalonians 4:1)  Call it lifelong learning or ‘ongoing adult ed’, all of us should strive to grow more in our character and our competency.  Setting a ‘growth step’ for this year and enlisting the help of another, will help to add a needed new tool to one’s CP toolkit.

However, our work doesn’t stop there.  Now think of the others who are arriving to join in ministry with us. How can we facilitate their development, their ongoing learning?  What are the tools, skills, aptitudes in which we can train them?  Don’t assume that ‘what got them here in missions will get them there where they need to be in church planting’.

All of us are lifelong learners.  Those who have been on the journey a little longer should become facilitators of lifelong learning for those joining in cross cultural work and ministry.

Filed under: Facilitation, Lifelong learning | 8 Comments »

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