Thoughts Along The Journey

After describing one indicator of a “closing mind” in my last post as being: “unable to discern how God might be speaking to me (to us) through different and varied sources,” my mind immediately starting probing that familiar verse in James 1:19.

“Know this, my beloved brothers and sisters: let every person be quick to hear [or, to listen], slow to speak, slow to anger.” 

The outworking of our new birth (1:18) has to be seen in practical ways or works, and in this context the major thrust must be by a heart that listens, that receives news from others, that gives heed to what another is saying.  There are two actions which we must be “slow” to do, and only one that we must be “swift” or quick to do.  It could mean that the two we are to be “slow” to do are actually actions that we are by nature quick to do, and that the one action we must we quick to do is an action we are by nature slow to do.  One writer put it this way: “Listening is an art that is difficult to master, for it means to take an intense interest in the person who is speaking.” 

By the very fact that many of us have been working cross-culturally for a number of years (the average number of years spent on a field, across our mission, is 18), we have gained a wealth of experience and insight.  We understand the culture and context in which we live.  We know what ministry looks like.  Yet, the danger of a “closing mind” could still be close at hand if we choose to be “quick to speak, slow to listen, slow to anger” in regards to others.  Sharing the wisdom and insights we have gained with new workers and others is vital, but the corresponding truth is also vital.  Namely that, by actively listening to new workers and others we may discern new ideas, approaches, insights that God desires to work into our hearts and ministries; and as well that by intensely listening to others, we may better know how to speak the truth and respond to others in love.  Being “swift” to listen does not mean that we are silent, but that we listen well in order to know how to more appropriately and with much grace respond [“speak”] to another.  We listen to learn.  We listen to speak the truth in love.

This double task is something of which our community needs to regularly remind us, as well as come alongside of us to facilitate honest evaluation and practice.

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It’s been 264 hours since my last post.  That’s way too long.  Yet, the time has afforded me the opportunity to begin to detect a habitual response in my mind to certain conversations; a response that is concerning.  I guess you might say I’m trying to work out, by the Spirit’s help, what it means to become more self-aware (see a previous post about this idea of self-awareness)

It actually happened several times over the past few days.  The first time was with a friend who was visiting.  We were out walking the beach on a weekend, when he stopped, pulled out his Bible from his pocket and began to read Psalm 95.  He turned his eyes towards the ocean when he read: “In whose hand are the depths of the earth, the peaks of the mountains are His also.  The sea is His, for it was He who made it.”  Then he paused when he got to the line: “For He is our God, and we are the people of His pasture, and the sheep of His hand.  Today, if you would hear His voice, do not harden your hearts, as at Meribah.”  He turned and looked at me, and said, “David, we are hearing the voice of the Lord today, here in His creation.”  He stopped, took my hand along with the others with us, bowed his head and prayed a prayer filled with worship to the Lord.  I felt uncomfortable.  People walking the beach were watching this small group huddled together, heads bowed.  This is France, where such outward expressions are not the norm.  Something didn’t feel right in my heart.  Something was “closing”.

It happened a second time when I was out to breakfast with a couple who were visiting France on a vision trip.  In sharing their journey, they listed off a number of insights they were gaining about the French people and their needs (emotional & spiritual). As I listened, I found myself wanting to disagree with what they were saying.  I thought to myself, they’ve only been here two weeks and they think they’ve figured out this culture.  Fortunately, the Lord gave me grace to not speak up, and just continue listening.  Yet, that “closing” feeling was there again.

When it happened a third time, I took a step back to reflect.  It was then that, slowly, I began to recognize the indicators of what I will call a “closing mind” or heart.  One indicator is being unable to discern how God might be speaking to me (to us) through different and varied sources.  A second would be an unhealthy confidence in my own cultural (and spiritual) journey that would keep me from looking at new ideas, new perspectives.

Are either of those indicators present within us as a community or as a mission?

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Listening to a webinar the other day on leading global virtual teams (www.ecornell.com/june16archive), I was struck by the timeliness of the presenter’s comments when he said, “Trust is the glue of the global workplace.”  As we have walked through this idea of community, we have been asking one another what elements are part of how that community should function.  Yet, somehow deep in hearts we know that community is tenuous (if not impossible) without trust.  

Right there is the start of so many critical questions: what is trust?  How would we describe it or define it?  How does it work out in community? 

Now here’s where the presenter in this webinar caught me by surprise.  Noting that trust was the “glue of the global workplace,” he defined trust in this way: “the willingness to make oneself vulnerable to another.”  I would not have written the definition in this way.  My definition would have tilted more towards “me” and how I could have confidence in another; what are the factors that would make me more likely to put my faith in another person.  Then the proverbial snowball  began to gain speed as I thought of so many biblical illustrations or texts like the one in 1 Corinthians 13:7, where the apostle Paul writes: “[Love] bears (or puts up with) all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”  Our offer of trust flows out of the reality that Jesus made Himself vulnerable for us, so that through His sacrifice and love we might make ourselves vulnerable to others.

Often people tell me that “trust needs to be earned.”  While I certainly agree with that statement, I’m wondering if there is not a sense in which our community needs to practice what this presenter called “swift trust”.  “Swift trust” would mean that we start by assuming that others are worthy of trust (by that offer, we actually make ourselves vulnerable to both joy and disappointment), and then look for indicators that would validate that trust.  So, how might this change our experience of community together?

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In French, we use the word, “bis”, when we want to come back to something.  It’s kind of like the word, “encore”, in English.  So, I would like to come back to the topic of other-centeredness and raise another question in light of what we have been talking about.  How would other-centeredness work itself out in community through accountability? 

Accountability is not about reporting to someone or ensuring that you can justify the use of every minute of your day.  Being accountable to another in community is about opening oneself to allow someone to ask questions, hard questions like:  what is really going on in your life and ministry these days?  Or, what kept you from carrying out or finishing this task you agreed to do?  It’s about asking another to help you in your growth and development both in life and ministry.  It’s about having someone follow up with you to ensure that tasks you agreed to accomplish are carried out, and that your engagement/participation in the community continues to grow and deepen, not wane.

I know that there are some who have had bad experiences with being accountable to another.  However, we should ask ourselves as to whether accountability is a biblical principle or not?  In other words, does the Bible actually teach us to be accountable to one another?  If it does (and I think texts such as Acts 21:17-20, Romans 14, and 1 Timothy 3 would lead us to see that yes it does), then what form might this biblical function take in OUR community?  What part do I need to play to further build our community through being accountable to others and holding others accountable to what God is calling us to be and to do together?

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This whole issue of community, what it is and what it involves, touched a chord in many.  A number of you posted comments on this blog while others wrote directly to me to share their thoughts. These are the questions many of us are asking ourselves.   In his classic work, Life Together, Dietrich Bonhoeffer described community in this way: “…without Christ we would not know other Christians around us; nor could we approach them. The way to them is blocked by our own ‘I’. Christ opened up the way to God and to one another. Now Christians can live with each other in peace; they can love and serve one another; they can become one.”  Other centeredness, then, characterizes community in its essence as it reflects the One who brought us into community with one another through His sacrifice.

Yet, each time we try to describe or further define community, we find ourselves bumping up against the very values and ethos that we know should characterize our life together, but which we struggle to live out.  We know that community is much more than simply spending time with one another, and we long to experience true community with others, with those who are in ministry together with us. 

What might some of those descriptors be that would characterize true community for us?  Would the list at least include: love, communication, trust, accountability or self-awareness?  Certainly there are others, but the hard part comes when we try to more fully describe what we mean and how it would look for our community to live this way.  Take self-awareness, for example.  Self-awareness is the capacity to see one’s own need for the Gospel and for further growth in relation to God, self and other team members.  Someone who is self-aware understands how others are “receiving” or experiencing them.  He/she seeks the insight and help of others in his/her community to gain this understanding and determine further ways to grow in community.   To get even more pratical about self-awareness, why not ask two or three people in your community this question: if you could change one thing about me, what would it be?

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This past weekend, I spent some time reflecting further on the comment I made at the end of my last post: “Living out of weakness … would at the very least call us to lay aside our self centered desires in order to work in community with others.”  We used to describe this idea of community by talking about “teams” and the importance of being on a team where we could learn, share, pray and work together.  However, we discovered over the years that working on a team was something other than just being in close geographical proximity to one another.  The concept of “team” then morphed into our value of interdependence as we wanted to underscore the broader implications of “team” in terms of its participants and its process.  I then entered another word into the discussion, “community” as I have sought to give voice to the idea that relationships with one another should in many ways reflect the community that exists between the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, that is, that community places team and interdependence back in its biblical context. 

Yet, here’s my dilemma.  For all our efforts to re-define our value of team through interdependence and community, it feels like we are less connected with one another than before.  Many are doing good ministry work, but few are those who have others in their “community” who regularly review with them their ministry and life priorities or who ask the hard questions that we need to be asked.  Noah H. put it well in replying to my most recent post when he wrote: “We need others to communicate with us when we appear to be grasping for privilege and power at the expense of our brothers and sisters.  We need each other to foster this “weakness strength”.”  We need others to speak into our lives, to graciously question what we are doing with our time and our energies.  Let’s pursue real community, not pseudo community.

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