• Our hope-filled future is bound up in sharing the story of Jesus, in discipling others, in bringing those disciples together into communities of believers, and in developing and releasing those believers to create other communities... till Jesus the King comes again!

Robust dialogue

Posted on May 12, 2016 by wtdavid

Meeting with leaders this week, I have been struck by the capacity of our leaders to engage in ‘robust dialogue’. Robust dialogue is where people discuss or debate a topic in a very open and honest way that allows for better decisions to be made.  Robust dialogue though can be uncomfortable at times because pushback may be strong and ideas or supporting arguments are not readily accepted.  However, it is rich, wild, tense and exhilarating.robust dialogue

Robust dialogue is not yelling at one another.  One writer described robust dialogue this way: “It is the ability to address any issue in the team or organization as long as there are not hidden agendas or personal attacks.” So a team has to have an ethos or a ministry framework that allows this kind of dialogue, conversation and hearty discussion to occur.

Robust dialogue will only happen, though, when two elements are in place.  First, a strong hold on one’s personal value in Christ. The deep assurance of Christ’s love and righteousness drive out our natural tendency ‘to seek to be right’ in all our conversations and discussions.  It’s the ‘expulsive power of a new affection’ that restructures the way we talk to and discuss with others. Second, a willingness to listen well.  James exhorts us to be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger (James 1:19).  Most of us are more ‘quick to speak and slow to listen’.  Our hearts need to be re-trained to count it as more important to hear a person out, seeking to understand their point and argument first.  We can learn so much from others and engage them well when our hearts are settled in Christ and our ears are open to listening to others well.

Pray for us as we continue in robust dialogue this week!

Filed under: Communication, Gospel, Listening, Uncategorized | Leave a comment »

That is not the way we learned

Posted on February 25, 2016 by wtdavid

“But that is not the way you learned Christ! – assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus.”  (Ephesians 4:20-21)

Our encounter with Jesus has not only taken away our shame and restored the honor God placed upon us, but it powerfully changes how we see others and how we treat them. We may have used our words to cause damage and hurt in others’ lives in the past. Now, in Christ, our motivation and desire is different. That is simply because we have learned a new way of living and loving.what-we-learned-rukkle-620X4002

However, what I find disheartening is that Christians are often among the least likely to demonstrate this kind of love toward one another, and particularly when they are called to work together in teams or towards a common vision. Terms like manipulation, rancor, or self-centeredness are sadly among some of the attitudes I have seen.

We who have been given the privilege of sharing the Gospel with others can be among those most needy for the Gospel. Could it be that our actions are a counter testimony to the ‘way we learned Christ’?

Commenting on this text, Jack Miller once said: “Putting on the new self means going to Jesus more and more to get a life of truth without secrets, and to abandon manipulating others. As you do this, you begin to see the people around you as individuals who are worth a great deal to God, and you are able to treat them with kindness, forgiveness, thoughtfulness, and love.”

How do others ‘experience’ you in day-to-day life and ministry? That’s a question to start with and which might provide greater self-awareness.

We need each other to lift up the mirror of God’s perfect law, that we might see how we fall short. We need each other to take us back again (and again) to Jesus where we receive mercy again (and again).

Filed under: Communication, Humility, Jesus Christ | 2 Comments »

The impact of words

Posted on February 23, 2016 by wtdavid

We can say that we know the impact that words can have on others, but our actual practice of speaking to one another often reveals how much we underestimate that influence. Words are powerful conveyors not only of important messages, but also of honor, value and worth. Most of the examples that might come to mind are of the hurt or pain that words can cause.  Yet, there are other examples of how words build up, value or challenge another for the good. Power-of-words-front1

Paul in his letter to his spiritual son, Timothy, wrote this: “Timothy, my son, I give you this instruction in keeping with the prophecies once made about you, so that by following them you may fight the good fight.”  (1 Timothy1:18)  Those ‘prophecies’ or ‘prophetic words’ refer to divinely charged words or statements shared with another. They are often the fruit of prayerful meditation and time taken before speaking.

I’m sure that many of us can remember, even state, the words spoken that influenced us towards ministry, and towards cross cultural ministry. Reflecting on those times when others spoke those ‘divinely charged words’ into our lives, emboldens us to have that same approach or attitude towards others.

A fellow co-worker shared this quote with me one time: “I have been trying to evolve an ecology of speech, a way with words that is hospitable to life. This includes learning to talk and to be silent at the right times and places, being careful to remember the capacity of words to have an afterlife once they have fallen into the soil of our own or other people’s lives.  Do they create a fertile, balanced humus in which new life can germinate and flourish?”

We may not readily identify with the image or metaphor, but that statement about ‘remembering the capacity of words to have an afterlife’ should resonate in our spiritual ears.  What words do we want to have ‘linger’ in the minds of others?  What do we want to leave with a colleague after a difficult conversation?  What do we want an interested future worker to remember who shares their heart for a particular people group?

Remembering what others have ‘said to us’, may help us reflect more deeply and prayerfully on what we should say to others.

Filed under: Communication, Encouragement, Wisdom | Leave a comment »

A ‘gospel assessment’ grid to consider

Posted on September 24, 2015 by wtdavid

assess yourselfEver thought about how well our words are communicating the Gospel? The quote below might help us better assess whether the focus is more on us or more on Christ:

“The gospel is not ultimately about us and what we can and can’t do or what we will or won’t do. It is all about Christ and what he has done to rescue lost sinners and make them fellow heirs of eternal life. May God give us hearts that join [John] Newton increasingly in celebrating the extravagant and incomparable love of God to us in Christ!

O the comfort! We are not under law but under grace. The gospel is a dispensation for sinners, and we have an Advocate with the Father. There is the unshaken ground of hope. A reconciled Father, a prevailing Advocate, a powerful Shepherd, a compassionate Friend, a Savior who is able and willing to save to the uttermost. He knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust; and has opened for us a new and blood-besprinkled way of access to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in every time of need.”

Filed under: Assessment, Communication, Gospel | Leave a comment »

The power of words

Posted on June 24, 2015 by wtdavid

Words have a ‘power’ that we often underestimate.  They can bring joy to a heart (Proverbs 12:25) or distress to one’s soul (Proverbs 15:1).  They are capable of building a person up in the faith (Ephesians 4:29) or ‘devouring’ the good name of another (Galatians 5:15)words bis

Words have a ‘power’ that we often underestimate.

The Bible is replete with verses “about how to speak and listen, how to use words and not abuse people.”  Yet, in my day to day conversations I seemingly overlook and forget these truths.  I can create conflict and mistrust, rather than a safe context for others.  I can stifle, by my words, the growth of others.

Words have a ‘power’ that we often underestimate.

This is why gossip is so insidious. It appears harmless at first view: “Have you heard about what happened to John?  I don’t think he would mind me sharing with you as we should really be praying for him right now.”  Yet, information (sometimes false or distorted information) is shared which diminishes the other; that tears down instead of builds up; and that creates an opening for the evil one to further attack our consciences.

We all know it is wrong and hurtful. Why cannot we not stem its tide?  Why are Christian agencies and churches some of its more fertile soil?

One main reason is because we love ourselves more than Christ.  We love being the one with privileged information.  The act of letting others in on that information, we think, builds us up in their eyes.  It’s warped thinking.

One look back at Jesus would make us feel the pain of those words and would melt our hearts at the forgiveness Jesus extends to us over and over again (1 John 1:9).

One word from another might pull our eyes off of ourselves and put it back on the One who took our wrongs upon Himself.  The simple question of: are you sure that is true? might awaken our hearts to turn towards our Redeemer.

Filed under: Communication, Gospel, Power | 6 Comments »

Call it for what it is

Posted on May 22, 2015 by wtdavid

If we found ourselves dealing with a conflict between several disciples that we were working with, we would quickly move to get those disciples into the same room so that they could listen to one another.  We would not tolerate them ‘talking behind one another’s back’.  We would not let them walk away from each other without having addressed the issue that was creating the conflict between them.

In the book, Crucial Conversations, the authors provide numerous helpful guidelines to creating a context of trust and shared pool of knowledge for people to be able to share what may be burdening their hearts and causing relational conflict.gossip_1900288b

I sometimes observe another strategy, used by us workers, when the conflict involves us.  Another worker creates relational tension, which I perceive as a conflict, and then I choose to share my disappointment or frustration with a different worker, rather than the person concerned.  It always sounds innocent because ‘I’m looking for someone to help me process’ or because ‘I don’t feel like that person hears me’. 

It may also sound spiritual, but we need from time to time to call it for what it is: gossip.  Gossip is when “a person who has privileged information about people and proceeds to reveal that information to those who have no business knowing it.”  It is actually a form of self-justification as we seek to make another appear to be at fault by sharing their ‘faults’ with others.

Paul describes the damages that can be caused by this strategy: “For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”  But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another.”  (Galatians 5:14-15)

The way to address this wrong strategy is twofold.  First, drive deep into our hearts the truth that grace creates or brings forth effort.  The more we appropriate the love and acceptance we have in Jesus, the more willing we will be to go to the person with whom we are in conflict.  Second, take a neutral person with you for such a conversation.  Such a person can help you ‘hear’ the other person well and can serve to remind you of the Gospel at each moment in the conversation.

Filed under: Communication, Community, Gospel, Listening | 5 Comments »

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