Any change seems just plain hard: moving to a new culture; shifting ministry roles; moving to a new ministry location in a new culture; colleagues, friends or children moving elsewhere; or just trying to change your email address with all the local administrative offices.
Change is hard. It requires time, energy, focus and perseverance to see an end to the transition and feel “at home” or “back on track” with life and ministry. And in the midst of the change and transition, many things we could easily hide in our home culture seem to rise to the surface of our new life in a new culture.
One of the struggles that rises to the surface for certain cultures is the desire to be liked, to be accepted by others. We want to “fit in” to this new culture. And for most of us that happens by “doing something” for those we have been called to serve.
What many have learned over the years is the door into a new culture happens as we enter it as “helpless” people rather than people “bringing help to those seemingly in need”.
Tim Keller in his book, The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness, puts it this way: “The thing we would remember from meeting a truly gospel-humble person is how much they seemed to be totally interested in us. Because the essence of gospel-humility is not thinking more of myself or thinking less of myself, it is thinking of myself less. Gospel-humility is not needing to think about myself. Not needing to connect things with myself … True gospel-humility means I stop connecting every experience, every conversation, with myself. In fact, I stop thinking about myself. The freedom of self-forgetfulness.”
Gospel-humility allows a cross-cultural worker to ask for help from others; to demonstrate that he/she really needs their help; that he/she is “needy”.
The interesting spiritual twist is that as we show ourselves needy, it opens others up to do the same. And then what people hear is the abundant grace that comes from the Father to the needy and undeserving. The message becomes about Him, and not about us.
There is no secret formula for navigating change and transition in a new culture. However, it can begin by asking others for help: with administrative documents in a new culture; with handyman work that you are unfamiliar with; or with figuring out the school, tax or other situations in this new culture. Then God can open up doors of spiritual conversation that your good efforts might not.
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