• Our hope-filled future is bound up in sharing the story of Jesus, in discipling others, in bringing those disciples together into communities of believers, and in developing and releasing those believers to create other communities... till Jesus the King comes again!

Self awareness is narcissism … NOT

Posted on February 13, 2014 by wtdavid

“But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving ourselves.  For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror.  For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like.  But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in doing.”

(James 1:22-25)

narcissism1-300x240Self awareness is not by nature narcissism.  Self awareness through hardy self questioning, gives rise to transformation.  That’s why one “looks intently at oneself in the mirror.”  We are trying to make sure there are no smudges on our face or that our hair is combed/brushed appropriately.  Self analysis, self questioning is meant to bring about change; to not just hear how we are being “received” poorly by others, but actually working to present a godlier disposition so that we might serve others better.

So where does all this self awareness talk lead us? 

At least three very practical and specific outcomes come quickly to mind.  First, being the strong entrepreneurial and individual spirits that most of us are, we must step back from our day to day activities on a semi-regular basis and write down the feelings we may  have experienced during the day in our interactions with others.  Second, we should lay these before our Father in prayer and ask that He would open our eyes to see ‘in the mirror of His glory’ those hurtful ways which might be causing us to minister poorly to others.  Finally, we would do well, for our own growth, to share these Spirit led insights with a small group of fellow journeyers who can support and push us in our ongoing growth in Christ.

Self awareness is one element of a much needed emotional competency.  To grow in that competency, we need the Spirit, an open heart and others.

Filed under: Reflection, Self awareness | 4 Comments »

Becoming aware (ii)

Posted on February 11, 2014 by wtdavid

The Protestant reformer, John Calvin, makes this statement at the very outset of the Institutes of the Christian Religion: “Without knowledge of self there is no knowledge of God.”  Another way to express this thought might be that to serve God and others well, we need to regularly take a hard look at ourselves.Self reflection

In other words, self awareness comes from a hearty self analysis.

Jeannie posted this comment after the previous blog post: “One of my core beliefs on becoming more self-aware is that it occurs best in the context of accountability or a Biblical community model. When we invite others in to find out how they perceive us, or what impressions we give off – we are seeking, in humility, a better version of ourselves, one that looks more like Jesus. The only way to gather that kind of information is to be vulnerable, to seek each other out, and to rub shoulders in ministry so we can truly observe one another and potential blind spots.”

Definitely!  Probing to understand how we are being “received” by others must occur in the context of a small group to which we are accountable.  Yet, there is work to be done on our end as well. The heart cry of the Psalmist is: “Search me, O God and know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there is any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way.”  (Psalm 139:23-24).  Such Spirit-led self analysis could come through asking oneself a number of questions such as:

  • When I receive negative feedback about myself from others, how do I normally respond?
  • What would demonstrate that I have or do not have a good sense of how I cope with situations that are ambiguous and uncertain?
  • I am conscious of the areas in which conflict and friction most frequently arise in my interactions with others?

There are lots of other questions that can help us dig deeper into our hearts in order to become more self aware, and as a result more aware of how we can serve others well.

What questions come to your mind that help ‘dig deeper’ into your heart motivations and make you more self aware?  Are you able to share the answers to those questions with a trusted friend or group?

 

 

Filed under: Gospel, Self awareness | 2 Comments »

Becoming aware

Posted on February 7, 2014 by wtdavid

“Being aware of your own business, your competition, and the environment is critical to the success of any organization.”  Read past the business language and you will see how relevant this statement is to the mission in which we are engaged.  A lack of awareness as to our ultimate vision and purpose could lead to fruitlessness.  Being unaware of those forces that work against us and the changing context in which we live and minister could slow down a movement of disciples and communities of believers.

A natural question that follows from this insight is: how does one become more aware?Self Awareness _The Thinker

The Gospel Leader Profile (GLP) is a tool used by World Team leaders and workers to challenge to further growth in God’s grace.  One of the areas that this profile focuses on is: self awareness.  The GLP puts it this way:

Self-awareness of one’s own need for the Gospel and personal development in relation to God, self and other team members.  A leader/worker reflects a proper estimate of their own strengths and weakness and also seeks insights from others around them.  They keep a close check on their physical and emotional health in the varying seasons of life.  They seek to maintain healthy boundaries in relationships and on the use of their time.”

A natural question that follows from this insight is: how does one become more aware, more self aware?

This is worth chewing on over a few more posts.  I would welcome your insights.  One step to start with might be to ask others how they are “receiving” us as an agency; and how we as individuals make others feel when we are with them?  Not easy questions.

 

Filed under: Self awareness | 7 Comments »

It’s all about context

Posted on December 4, 2013 by wtdavid

Sometimes people will say to me: “Didn’t you notice that my sweater was inside out?”  Or: “Didn’t you see the look on Dan’s face when you made that comment about their team’s strategy?” insideoutv2b

It’s all about context.  However, there are times when I am simply not ‘aware’ of what is going on or how I am being received by others. I can certainly be fully ‘aware’ when the context turns around my agenda or my ideas. However, I have a more difficult time listening and grasping the context that others are painting.

I don’t think I am alone in this because independence rather than interdependence runs deep in our hearts.  We may be strong in spiritual intelligence and yet extremely weak in ‘emotional intelligence’.  Put another way, we can be strong in our grasp of biblical principles, but stumble when it comes to knowing the impact that our words, actions and decisions can have on others.

It is not easy to become more self-aware. It’s actually something that can only be done in community.  We are incapable of stepping outside our own skin and assessing how we are coming off to others.  I need others to tell me, to engage me in this conversation so that I can serve others better.  We need others to tell us, to engage us in this conversation so that we can serve one another better.

Do you have such people speaking into your life?  What keeps you from asking?

 

Filed under: Community, Self awareness | 2 Comments »

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

    Join 206 other subscribers

  • Categories

  • Recent Comments

  • Archives

  • Goodreads