A friend of ours was over for dinner the other night. During the meal, he turned to us and said, “It’s really hard to always feel like a foreigner in this country.” Yes, his home country is far away from here. However, he has lived in Europe now for over ten years. Yet he still does not feel ‘at home’ here.
He has not yet crossed the cultural bridge.
‘Crossing the cultural bridge’ means that we adopt as our own the culture in which we find ourselves; drawing on all that is good in that new culture, building on all that is good from our home culture. It is not an easy journey across that bridge and it doesn’t happen overnight. We benefit from people encouraging us who have already made the ‘crossing’. We profit from the insight and wisdom of cultural guides from that new culture.
It’s like the proverbial wooden swinging bridge across a ravine. Your first thought is to back away from the bridge and start thinking of all the reasons why it is not worth crossing the bridge. Then a friend comes along and encourages you onto the bridge. Things go fine until the bridge starts swaying, and your immediate reaction is to backtrack to the start. However, the encouraging words and patience of your friend draw you across the bridge. After what seems like an eternity you find yourself on the other side, sighing a great sigh of relief.
We have that same feeling of relief when we ‘cross the cultural bridge’. However, at times we may find ourselves backpedaling, backtracking to the bridge. We can find ourselves being pulled back across the bridge, questioning the adopted culture in which we now live.
When you hear yourself regularly criticizing the culture where you now live, you may be backtracking onto the cultural bridge.
When you notice that all of your close friends are people from your home passport country, you may be backtracking onto the cultural bridge.
When you find yourself stumbling for words in a conversation with your neighbor because you haven’t given much time recently to the language, you may be backtracking onto the cultural bridge.
When you hear yourself often saying: “Well, in our culture, that would never happen because …”, you may be backtracking onto the cultural bridge.
A friend helped you get across the bridge. A friend and cultural guide can keep you from backtracking to the bridge, and can help you keep moving forward on the cross cultural path.
Filed under: Crossing cultures, Friendship | 6 Comments »
