The Bible tells us that “a friend loves at all times” (Proverbs 17:17).
For most of us, we read that text as meaning a friend will always be kind to us, never critical. However, a quick survey of other passages in the book of Proverbs, for example, shows us that a friend is someone who with grace can bring us up short for our own good and growth in Christ.
“Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.”
“Strike a scoffer, and the simple will learn prudence; reprove a man of understanding, and he will gain knowledge.”
“Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.”
“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.”
Finding a good friend involves building a friendship with someone you can trust to remind you of the love of God for you demonstrated at the cross. But it also involves finding someone you can trust to honestly confront or challenge you when your words and your actions are not aligned.
Most of us don’t like that element of friendship. I don’t like it. And yet, it is one of the essential components of how God seeks to sanctify our hearts and deepen us in our communion with Him and others.
We can add another twist to this search for a good friend. Most of us live in a culture which is not our home passport culture. Many of us will build friendships in this second culture with those from our home passport culture who happen to live there as well, and there is nothing wrong with that. However, building a good friendship with someone from the new culture where you live and serve adds another dynamic.
It teaches us dependency upon God (we could call it: humility) in a different way. It reminds us of the immensity and depth of the body of Christ. And it offers us a friend who may be able to point out areas of our life that we were able to hide from others in our own home passport culture.
If you haven’t found such a friend in the culture where you serve, I would challenge you to pray that God would lead you to such a friend for His glory, your growth, and the ongoing demonstration of the power of the Gospel to change hearts, beginning with our own.
Filed under: Friendship, Grace, Honesty |
Thoughts Along The Journey 
I totally agree with what you wrote, David, about having a national as part of your close friendship network who can speak into your life. 35 years ago, there were 3 of us single men–2 nationals and myself as the expat–who formed a close-knit friendship where we’d speak into each other’s lives. When we started getting interested in a girl, we’d tell the others and ask for their pointed input so we wouldn’t make a mistake. 2 of us did that (1 national and myself), but the other national didn’t. He chose a girl and bypassed us. We were taken back that he didn’t reciprocate what we’d allowed him to do for us. Today? That national’s wife went astray and is now a member of the cult, Ang Dating Daan. Oh, if only he’d allowed us to speak into his life like we allowed him to speak into ours, things might be quite different for him with not having to deal with an unhappy marriage. As for the 2 of us, wow–wonderful marriages!
Thanks Trevor for a real-life example of the power of having a national friend as part of one’s close friendship network!