Thoughts Along The Journey

As I was heading my way to the gathering of WT Asia leaders this week, I remembered an article that I had read.  The basic gist of the article was that in many conversations with other colleagues, we tend to talk way more than we listen to the others in the room.  The author stressed that robust dialogue and discussion come when we give a majority of our time to listening as opposed to speaking.  Listening serves as the critical context for responding (speaking) well to others.

Now, we recognize that this principle is a basic biblical truth: “Know this, my beloved brothers (and sisters): let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.”  (James 1.19)  I think the problem for many of us is that we know this truth, but we’re not sure the best way to actually practice it.  Oftentimes, we’ll try to practice this truth by talking to ourselves into being a better listener: “You know, David, in this next meeting, you need to just listen more and not talk so much.”  Then we get into that next meeting, and before we know it, we’re speaking up the bulk of the time!

Now there are certainly a number of possible applications, and we know that the only way we will become a better listener is by the working of grace in our hearts.  However, the author of the article I read suggested an idea that might provide some fuel for the Spirit in our ‘training’.

Here’s the author’s simple recommendation:  imagine walking into a conversation or discussion with five (5) coins in your hand. Each coin represents one time where you inject your thoughts into a conversation.  When the five coins have been ‘used’, your ‘microphone’ is turned off.

Now I’m not saying we should slavishly practice this idea, but I will say it causes you to think more carefully about the words you think are so important to share at each and every moment in a conversation.  It also pushes you to listen well and try to better understand what the other is really saying before speaking.

I’m hoping by the end of this week, I (and each of us) will have ‘made some progress’ in listening well and speaking with more wisdom … by using our five coins well.

Filed under: Communication, Listening |